Hello, Kitty
by poestheblackcat
Summary: Dean looked up at his brother and meowed. A witch's spell transforms Dean into a cat. Cuteness, humor, and brotherly banter galore.


AN: I just decided to write something about what would happen if Dean gets changed into a cat. Cuz there was what he said in the S2 bloopers: "I'm like a cat. I always land on all fours." LOL

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Edit 8/27/2010: Now with story art at my LJ poestheblackcat (dot) livejournal (dot) com / 30412 (dot) html Just take out all of the (dot) and spaces, or you can find my journal through my profile here.

**Hello, Kitty**

Stupid cat.

Sam groaned as the pesky feline outside the motel door yowled again. It had been out there for at least half an hour already. He looked at the clock. 12:30. Dean should be back soon. He'd left after dinner, shrugging into his leather jacket, and had told Sam not to wait up; he was going to the bar and was in the mood for some _fun_.

The cat wailed again and scratched at the door.

That's it. One kitty cat would be limping come tomorrow morning. Sam stomped over to the door and flung it open.

As he did so, a blur of black fur flew inside and pounced up onto the bed closest to the door. Luminescent green eyes gazed up from the trembling mound of fur hunched miserably on the musty motel bedcovers.

Sam groaned. Dean would be more than a little miffed to find a cat sitting on his bed when he came home. Closing the door, he moved slowly towards the bed, so as not to frighten the already scared cat even more.

"Hey kitty, kitty. I'm sorry but you're gonna have to get off the bed. That's my brother's bed, you see, and well, he's not here right now, but he will be soon, and he's gonna want to sleep on there, okay? So why don't you come down from there and I'll give you a pillow to sleep on and a nice soft towel, okay?"

Sam felt stupid talking to the cat like this but when he mentioned Dean, the cat moved near Sam. It just kept staring into his eyes. Sam looked into the mesmerizing emerald orbs and realized—

"Oh my god. Dean?"

The cat nodded and meowed pitifully. He sat still as Sam examined him. Cat Dean had sleek muscles under shining black fur and his eyes were still the same color as Human Dean's. He rubbed up against Sam's arm and yowled. His message was clear.

"_I am a freaking cat and I am miserable. Find some freaky mojo way to change me back!"_

Sam chuckled. "Okay Dean. What did you do?"

Dean glared at him. _"If I could freaking talk, I would have told you already."_

The corners of Sam's mouth twitched but he kept the smile off his face.

"Okay. Just nod or shake your head, okay? You got to the bar okay."

The cat nodded.

"You had a beer." Dean put out a paw and tapped it three times.

"You had three beers." Nod.

"You picked up a girl." Nod.

"You went home with the girl." Dean shook his head.

"Okay. Something happened that prevented you going home with the girl." The cat fixed Sam with a look that clearly said, _"No duh, shitforbrains."_

"Uhh…Girl had a boyfriend." Dean tilted his head as if contemplating his answer, then shook it but nodded a second later.

"What's that supposed to mean? She didn't have a boyfriend but she did? Ex-boyfriend?" Vigorous shaking of the head. "_No."_

What else could it be? Ohhh. Sam smirked. "She had a _girl_friend?" Miserable nodding.

"Okay. So what happened? Was it supernatural?" Another nod. _"Duh."_

"Witch?" Nod.

"Okay. So basically what happened was you pissed off a lesbian witch and she turned you into a cat." Dean nodded bleakly.

"Think we should call Bobby?" Dean's little black head shot up so fast it blurred and his shaking it turned it into another blur.

"Well, Dean, I don't know what to do. Do you know where this witch lives?" _"No." _This answer was accompanied by a mournful little meow.

"You know what, we'll wait till tomorrow and ask the bartender if he knows who this witch is or you can see if she's there tomorrow. How's that sound? We can get some sleep now."

"_Okay, fine." _Dean looked resigned to his fate—for now, anyways—and curled up on his bed with a glum look.

"Cheer up. I bet I'll be able to bully or beg this witch into changing you back." Sam smirked. "If not, you can still tomcat around and all."

Dean snarled and glared at Sam.

Sam returned to his bed and turned the light off. Sighing, he hoped this wouldn't be permanent. For all his teasing and whining, he loved his brother and things wouldn't be the same with him as a cat. Sam huffed out a laugh. A cat. A jaguar or a wolf or some other fierce thing, he could imagine, but his big brother had been turned into a cute little kitty cat, of all things.

In the morning, Sam wasn't too surprised to find a warm black lump sleeping near his feet. He climbed out of the bed carefully, trying not to disturb Dean. After showering and getting dressed, he headed out to buy breakfast. He left a note next to Dean just in case he could still read.

On his return, he was met by a streak of black weaving between his legs and rubbing up against him. Stumbling, he growled, "I know you're glad to see me, but would you cut it out? You're gonna trip me!"

Dean leapt onto one of the chairs at the table where Sam then placed the bags he'd brought with him.

"What do you want for breakfast, Dean? Milk or human food?" Placing both on the table, Sam watched as Dean dove for the breakfast sandwich but after sniffing at it for about a minute, turned sadly to the carton of milk. "Mrow." Sam noticed the cat's voice had a low throaty quality, much like Dean's speaking voice.

"Are you sure?" The cat looked at him mournfully and twitched his ears. "Okay. Milk it is." Sam poured it out into the bowl he found in one of the motel cabinets and placed it on the floor. Dean leapt for it joyfully and started lapping it up with as much relish as he would have attacked a cheeseburger in his usual form. Crossing his arms, Sam told the cat, "Glad you're enjoying that."

Sitting down to his own meal, Sam thought about how he was going to get his brother turned back into his human form. He snorted in astonishment as Dean finished his milk and started cleaning himself, licking his paw and drawing it over his face.

Green eyes caught Sam's hazel. _"What? I'm taking a bath. Perv."_

The cat finished washing his face and started on his body, scraping his rough tongue over his sides. Sam shook his head, amazed at how well Dean was adjusting to his transformation.

Sam spent the rest of the day researching spells on human-animal transformations, only stopping to let Dean out to do his business and to go out to buy food. Dean entertained himself hunting down a fly that had found its way into the room. Having caught it, he settled down on the bed, watching Sam, tail twitching every now and then.

Sam looked up to see his brother's luminous eyes boring into him. "You bored?" Dean blinked and switched his tail. "It's almost seven. Do you want to head over to the bar?"

Dean hopped down from the bed and was waiting impatiently by the door by the time Sam put his computer away and his jacket on. "Mrow." _"What took you so long?"_

They walked the two blocks to the bar. There wasn't much of a crowd inside yet, it still being pretty early in the evening. Sam murmured to Dean, "Is she here?"

Dean surveyed the room, glancing from face to face. Turning to Sam, he shook his head no. "Okay then, I'll go ask the bartender if he noticed anything."

The barkeep was a burly grey-haired man with a potbelly, the kind of guy you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of. He glanced up at Sam when he walked up to the counter.

"One beer, please."

As the man passed the bottle over, Sam pulled out a picture he'd taken of Dean once when he wasn't looking. "Did you notice this man at the bar last night? He came in around ten-ish?"

The bartender fixed him with a look. "Look, buddy, following your boyfriend around isn't the best thing for a relationship, if ya know what I mean."

Sam wrinkled his nose. "He's not my boyfriend. He's my brother. He's missing, and the last place I know he went to was this bar. Was he here?"

The man looked closely at the photo. "Yep. He was here, had three beers and a shot of whiskey."

"Do you know who he talked to, or when he left?"

Snorting, the bartender said, "He 'talked' to just about every girl in the place and left with one just around midnight."

"Umm. Could you...Do you happen to know the girl's name, or where I can find her?"

"Yeah, her name's Candy. She should be in here soon; she's a regular."

"Okay. Thank you."

"By the way, no pets allowed. Leave that cat outside."

"Yeah. Okay. I'll do that."

Sam had little problem locating Dean. He was being cuddled by a very buxom blonde and was purring contentedly with his head on her breast while the woman and her friends cooed over him. Some things never change.

Sighing, Sam made his way over to his brother. "Excuse me. My cat…"

The blonde squealed. "Oh, is he yours? He's sooo cute." Dean had a Cheshire Cat grin on his tiny face and a cocky tilt to his ears and head. It was disconcerting how much he looked like human Dean at the moment. _"See Sammy, still a chick magnet."_

"Yeah. Look, we—I have to go, so I need to take him with me."

The blonde and her friends pouted. "Okay. Your cat is just too cute for words. What's his name?"

Sam smirked. "Kissypoo. Kissy for short." Dean glared daggers at him.

"Aww…okay, bye-bye Kissypoo." The woman handed the disgruntled cat over.

Sam walked towards the door but let Dean down when he swiped a clawed paw across his arm. "Ow! Jerk."

Dean led the way out with his tail waving high in the air. _"Bitch."_

Once outside, they sat on the curb watching customers filter in, waiting for Candy. Sam filled Dean in on the conversation he'd had with the bartender.

Sam's head swam with "what if"s, like "what if the witch doesn't change Dean back" or "what if there is no reverse spell." It was odd watching a cat sit in the same way his brother would during a stakeout, completely still except for the eyes, which would be constantly on the move, scanning the area for possible threats. And his ears, which also twitched this way and that to listen for any sounds out of the ordinary. Sam was sure that if Human Dean had ears like Cat Dean did, he would move them like he was now.

Sam groaned and hung his head between his knees. "You know, I never thought I'd ever say this, but I miss your talking."

Cat Dean looked up and meowed. _"It's okay Sammy."_ He meowed again, this time longer and louder, and kept meowing.

Sam stared at the cat for a moment before laughing. "Even now, when I should be comforting you, you're trying to make me feel better." He reached out a hand and stroked Dean on the head, feeling the silky fur underneath his hand. "Thanks." The cat closed his eyes. Sam moved his hand down towards Dean's back, feeling calmer with the repetitive motion. A thrumming sound coming from Dean's chest stilled his hand. "Are you purring?"

The cat opened his eyes. _"What'd you stop for?"_

Suddenly they heard the sound they'd been waiting for. Two pairs of high heels clacking on the sidewalk. Their owners walked towards the entrance to the bar with their arms wrapped around each others' waists. One was a very pretty petite brunette who you could tell had a bubbly personality just by looking at her. The other was a tall short-haired blonde with a cold demeanor. Obviously the pants of the relationship. They caught sight of Sam and the black feline and the brunette started running towards them. Clack-clack-clack-clack.

"Thank goodness you found him. We've been looking all over the place for him," she gushed. By this time the stately blonde had joined them. Dean puffed up his tail and hissed at her.

Sam guessed the taller woman was the witch. Standing up, he told her, "Change my brother back. Please. I don't want to clean out his litter boxes for the rest of our lives."

The pair looked surprised that Sam knew about magic. Shooting a glance at the brunette, Candy probably, the witch spoke nervously. "I can't do that."

Sam gave her a leveled stare. "I need you to change him back. Now," he growled. Dean growled, too, and arched his back.

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "I would if I could, believe me, but I can't. Not right now anyway. I got a little carried away. I was mad, so I wanted to teach him a lesson."

"What lesson?"

"Not to steal other peoples' girlfriends." She sighed. "Like I said, I was mad. The spell is supposed to last until dawn tomorrow morning, then he turns back. Candy was just worried that he would get thrown in the pound or run over or something, and that his friends or family would be worried, too, so she talked me into finding him. We came here because we looked everywhere we could think of and we thought he might have come back after we left." She laughed nervously. "And here you are."

"Yeah, you're lucky we thought to come here and wait. You're sure he'll turn back into a human in the morning?"

"Yes. I'm a very good witch. Candy is my apprentice."

"Okay, you want to tell me your name and where I can find you, so I can call you if it doesn't go the way it's supposed to?"

The blonde, Sharon, gave Sam her contact information and knelt down at Dean's level. "I'm sorry I turned you into a cat, Dean. No hard feelings?"

Dean hissed and glared at her.

"That's understandable, but I really am sorry. I reacted badly."

Dean bristled. _"No shit. That's an understatement. A cat? Seriously. If you're going to turn me into an animal, you could pick something a little more manly, not a freaking pussy cat!"_

Sharon straightened. "Well," she told Sam, "if Dean doesn't transform back into his normal self, give me a call."

In the end, things turned out pretty well, considering. Sam kept Dean from getting catnapped by the pound and from getting run over until the sun rose and Dean magically transformed back into a 6 foot 1 man, kind of like that teacher in that Harry Potter movie, except he ended up falling off the bed completely naked at the end of the change.

Dean scrambled for the bedcovers to hide his nudity and immediately started coughing.

Sam panicked and rushed to his brother's side. "Dean? Dean, what's wrong? Should I call Sharon?"

"No," Dean croaked, "I'm fine." Then he retched and heaved up a wet clump of black fur into the trashcan Sam had placed in front of his face.

Sam snorted. "A hairball? A hairball…" Oh god, he couldn't stop laughing. "You coughed up a hairball. I am so gonna tell Bobby this," he hooted.

Dean smacked Sam on the head. "Don't you dare. It's not even that funny."

"Is too." Sam gave another chuckle. "You better get dressed before you catch a cold. Oh my god, I'm gonna die. It's soo funny." By this time Sam was lying back on his bed laughing his head off.

"Yeah. You are gonna die, because I'm gonna kill you if you breathe a word of this to Bobby." Dean pulled his boxers on. "Man, I'm starving. A bowl of milk isn't enough for this body."

"Okay, I'll get you something from the vending machine around the corner. There probably aren't any diners that are open right now. You'll have to wait another hour or so for real food."

"Fine. As long as I get some sort of food. Preferably greasy and yummy. Get me some M&Ms for now."

"Peanut?"

"The only kind worth eating. Man, I hate witches. They friggin' _suck_."

"You know, this is material for, like, superblackmail? Huh, _Kissypoo_?" Sam dodged the first peanut M&M fired at his head but the second landed smack in the middle of his forehead. He didn't care. He was laughing too hard.

* * *

AN: This is my first attempt at writing any sort of fanfiction. Please be nice.


End file.
